Sheldon's Greatest Bits

Do you watch CBS's Big Bang Theory? Who's your favorite character? Here's some of Sheldon's best lines:

• Sheldon (to Raj): Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

• Sheldon (to Leonard): Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I begin my research on the drag co-efficient of tassels on flying carpets.

• Sheldon (to Penny purchasing vitamins): There’s some value to taking multivitamins, but the human body can only absorb so much. So what you’re buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.

Read more in the Richmond County Daily Journal.

My Subway is short

When is a Footlong not a foot long? The answer, apparently, is when it’s a Subway sandwich. It seems these tasty, elongated snacks haven’t been measuring up to vigilant customers’ expectations lately.

Armed with their trusty yardsticks, pernickety patrons aross the country have resolutely sunk the Sub’s promotional promise of being one foot long (or exactly 12 inches for the dimensionally challenged). Many of the $5 Subway sandwiches have been “weighing in” at a stunted 11 inches.

Full article in the Mountain Democrat.

Kooky Conspiracy theories

I recently wrote about the crazy conspiracy theory folks out there (including Florida professor James Tracy who thinks Newtown was a hoax). Seems my story, which was about the current python hunt in the Everglades, was picked up as being REAL by some foreign sites. I guess parody doesn't translate too well.

Recognize this guy?

Are you old enough to recognize this guy?  So did he steal milk from your front doorstep, too?

Christmas and the Fiscal Cliff Mess

I usually leave poetry to the poets, but this fiscal cliff stuff at Christmas was irresistible.  If you can stand more verses, they are here. Also mentioned in the WSJ.






'Twas the night before Cliff Mess, and throughout the land,
Democrats, Republicans were taking a stand.
Their positions unwavering, intractably firm,
With donkey-like stubbornness or entrenched pachyderm.

But the public were hopeful all snug in their beds,
With visions of compromise alive in their heads.
“Come on!” said the people in frustrated dismay.
“Abandon this meaningless partisan fray”.........

Improving the Presidential Debates

“Mr. President, do you ever get muddled and take Joe for a walk in the Rose Garden and Bo to cabinet meetings?”

“Governor, is it true you wanted ‘You’re so Bain’ for your campaign song?”

These probing questions will make the next presidential debate more vivacious. More questions in this week's Times and Democrat.

Unbelievable Mars Rover Photo

The Mars Curiosity rover found a shiny object, shown here (real photo). Sure looks like a tiny alien to me.

If we could zoom in, bet he's holding up an "Earthlings go home!" sign.


 

Tony Curtis

Two years ago today, we lost Tony Curtis. I recently spoke with Jill about life after Tony. Story in the Bronx Times. What's your favorite Tony Curtis movie?

Remembering Neil Armstrong

Where were you when Armstrong and Aldrin did the Moon walk? Some thoughts on the passing of Armstrong here.

Three Stooges Alert: Calling all Knuckleheads

Anyone planning on seeing the new Three Stooges movie, coming out on April 13?

Check out my story on the film, including an interview with Moe's kids, here, before you do.

Now, take a cream pie over to Jenny Matlock and tell her I said "hi."